State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
