Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Randomize
