what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
