Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
