I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
