Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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