Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize