yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
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I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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