his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
