I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
