I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
