plz talk dirty to me
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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