So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
