so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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