I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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