he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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