I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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