Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
