I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
