Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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