White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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