The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
