watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
