you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
