if i can run in heels then i can drive
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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