Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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