He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
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This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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