hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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