theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
