This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
