I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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