this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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