I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
