This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
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