then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
