I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
