apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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