Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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