just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
