You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
