the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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