so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
