The maid of honor just puked.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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