Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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