if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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