i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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