69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
