u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
