Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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