It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
