There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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