Got a toothbrush?
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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