her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
