the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
