I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
