am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
