She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
