Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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