What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Randomize
